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11th September 2013: The world's gone mad and I'm the only one who knows
13th August 2013: Black is white. Fact. End of.
11th August 2013: Electric cars, not as green as they're painted?
18th June 2013: Wrinklies unite, you have nothing to lose but your walking frames!
17th May 2013: Some actual FACTS about climate change (for a change) from actual scientists ...
10th May 2013: An article about that poison gas, carbon dioxide, and other scientific facts (not) ...
10th May 2013: We need to see past the sex and look at the crimes: is justice being served?
8th May 2013: So, who would you trust to treat your haemorrhoids, Theresa May?
8th May 2013: Why should citizens in the 21st Century fear the law so much?
30th April 2013: What the GOS says today, the rest of the world realises tomorrow ...
30th April 2013: You couldn't make it up, could you? Luckily you don't need to ...
29th April 2013: a vote for NONE OF THE ABOVE, because THE ABOVE are crap ...
28th April 2013: what goes around, comes around?
19th April 2013: everyone's a victim these days ...
10th April 2013: Thatcher is dead; long live Thatcher!
8th April 2013: Poor people are such a nuisance. Just give them loads of money and they'll go away ...
26th March 2013: Censorship is alive and well and coming for you ...
25th March 2013: Just do your job properly, is that too much to ask?
25th March 2013: So, what do you think caused your heterosexuality?
20th March 2013: Feminists - puritans, hypocrites or just plain stupid?
18th March 2013: How Nazi Germany paved the way for modern governance?
13th March 2013: Time we all grew up and lived in the real world ...
12th March 2013: Hindenburg crash mystery solved? - don't you believe it!
6th March 2013: Is this the real GOS?
5th March 2013: All that's wrong with taxes
25th February 2013: The self-seeking MP who is trying to bring Britain down ...
24th February 2013: Why can't newspapers just tell the truth?
22nd February 2013: Trial by jury - a radical proposal
13th February 2013: A little verse for two very old people ...
6th February 2013: It's not us after all, it's worms
6th February 2013: Now here's a powerful argument FOR gay marriage ...
4th February 2013: There's no such thing as equality because we're not all the same ...
28th January 2013: Global Warming isn't over - IT'S HIDING!
25th January 2013: Global Warmers: mad, bad and dangerous to know ...
25th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
19th January 2013: We STILL haven't got our heads straight about gays ...
16th January 2013: Bullying ego-trippers, not animal lovers ...
11th January 2013: What it's like being English ...
7th January 2013: Bleat, bleat, if it saves the life of just one child ...
7th January 2013: How best to put it? 'Up yours, Argentina'?
7th January 2013: Chucking even more of other people's money around ...
6th January 2013: Chucking other people's money around ...
30th December 2012: The BBC is just crap, basically ...
30th December 2012: We mourn the passing of a genuine Grumpy Old Sod ...
30th December 2012: How an official body sets out to ruin Christmas ...
16th December 2012: Why should we pardon Alan Turing when he did nothing wrong?
15th December 2012: When will social workers face up to their REAL responsibility?
15th December 2012: Unfair trading by a firm in Bognor Regis ...
14th December 2012: Now the company that sells your data is pretending to act as watchdog ...
7th December 2012: There's a war between cars and bikes, apparently, and  most of us never noticed!
26th November 2012: The bottom line - social workers are just plain stupid ...
20th November 2012: So, David Eyke was right all along, then?
15th November 2012: MPs don't mind dishing it out, but when it's them in the firing line ...
14th November 2012: The BBC has a policy, it seems, about which truths it wants to tell ...
12th November 2012: Big Brother, coming to a school near you ...
9th November 2012: Yet another celebrity who thinks, like Jimmy Saville, that he can behave just as he likes because he's famous ...
5th November 2012: Whose roads are they, anyway? After all, we paid for them ...
7th May 2012: How politicians could end droughts at a stroke if they chose ...
6th May 2012: The BBC, still determined to keep us in a fog of ignorance ...
2nd May 2012: A sense of proportion lacking?
24th April 2012: Told you so, told you so, told you so ...
15th April 2012: Aah, sweet ickle polar bears in danger, aah ...
15th April 2012: An open letter to Anglian Water ...
30th March 2012: Now they want to cure us if we don't believe their lies ...
28th February 2012: Just how useful is a degree? Not very.
27th February 2012: ... so many ways to die ...
15th February 2012: DO go to Jamaica because you definitely WON'T get murdered with a machete. Ms Fox says so ...
31st January 2012: We don't make anything any more
27th January 2012: There's always a word for it, they say, and if there isn't we'll invent one
26th January 2012: Literary criticism on GOS? How posh!
12th December 2011: Plain speaking by a scientist about the global warming fraud
9th December 2011: Who trusts scientists? Apart from the BBC, of course?
7th December 2011: All in all, not a good week for British justice ...
9th November 2011: Well what d'you know, the law really IS a bit of an ass ...

 

 
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The Driving Standards Agency has updated The Highway Code for the first time in eight years, and added a list of things that distract motorists while driving …
 
• Loud music
• Trying to read maps
• Inserting a cassette or CD or tuning a radio
• Arguing with your passengers or other road users
• Eating and drinking
• Smoking
 
According to the Department of Transport, a fixed penalty notice could be issued, at the discretion of the police, to people who smoke while driving.
 
True to the principle that no sooner does someone invent a daft new rule than some vindictive little jobsworth will decide to enforce it, fair or foul, Acting Deputy Chief Constable Bernard Lawson of Merseyside Police last night said officers would use existing legislation to prosecute smokers.
 
Unlike talking on a mobile phone while driving, smoking behind the wheel is not illegal. But motorists can be fined or hauled before the courts for doing anything that causes them to drive without due care and attention, or fail to control their vehicle, and the inclusion of smoking in the Highway Code gives police carte blanche to target smokers at will. Which means, of course, that they will. How could a profession that stops little boys from playing with toy guns and little girls from riding their tricycles or chalking hopscotch squares on the pavement, resist the opportunity to slap fines on those vicious, antisocial smokers?
 
The impetus for this move seems to have come from a report called "Smoking and non-fatal traffic accidents" issued in 2001 by Médico de Familia, Centro de Salud Delicias Norte, Zaragoza, Spain. Its objective was "to investigate the possible associations between smoking and nonfatal traffic accidents, and to evaluate the possible influence of other factors on traffic accidents."
 
The study concluded "In statistical terms, smokers have twice as many accidents as non smokers. The absence of significant differences between smokers who do and do not smoke while driving suggests that smoking increases the risk of being involved in traffic accidents regardless of whether drivers refrain from smoking at the wheel." In other words, they found that smokers had more accidents than non-smokers; they did not find any significant differences between smokers who do and do not smoke while driving.
 
Leaving aside the obvious question of why the hell we're taking advice from Spaniards about road safety, we have to point out that other more respectable studies have produced different results. The most recent international study on smoking while driving is the 100-Car Naturalistic Driving Study from the Virginia Tech Transportation Institute (VTTI) and the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), published in April 2006. It examines types of secondary distractions (smoking while driving is considered a "secondary distraction", along with talking on the phone, speaking to passengers, etc.) compared to crash and near-crash events.
 
The most frequent secondary tasks contributing to crashes were internal distractions, wireless devices, and passengers. The most frequent types of inattention for near crashes and incidents were wireless devices and passenger-related tasks. Accidents caused by smoking were negligible by comparison.
 
Another influential study showed that the specific sources of distraction among distracted drivers were, in order of frequency:
 
• Outside person, object, or event 29.4%
• Adjusting radio/cassette/CD 11.4%
• Other occupant 10.9%
• Unknown distraction 8.6%
• Moving object in vehicle 4.3%
• Other device/object 2.9%
• Adjusting vehicle/climate controls 2.8%
• Eating and/or drinking 1.7%
• Using/dialing cell phone 1.5%
• Smoking related 0.9%
• Other distractions 25.6%
 
So, talking to your passengers - and even singing to yourself - are much more distracting than smoking. Still, what the hell - everyone knows smoking is bad for you, so no-one's going to complain if we pick on smokers, are they?
 
Makes you wonder, though, what other things they could add to that list of distractions in the Highway Code. Chewing gum? Scratching your b*ll*cks? Fantasising about that blonde in the typing-pool?
 
And then there's the number one pastime for drivers on long tedious journeys - I wonder what the official know-all attitude will be to that? How long will it be before a driver is stopped and fined for picking his nose?
 
And if we can now be fined for smoking in our own cars, how long will it be before they find some excuse to prosecute us for smoking in our homes or gardens?
 

 
The GOS says: There's more. In London drivers will be fined £120 for straying into cycle lanes under plans to give local authorities powers to install yet another set of roadside enforcement cameras. Even minor infringements, such as moving briefly into a cycle lane to pass a vehicle turning right, will result in a fixed penalty. Drivers will not know that they have been caught until the penalty notice arrives in the post a few days later.
 
The powers are initially being proposed for use by authorities in London but would be introduced later across the rest of the country. The cameras would also monitor cycle boxes at traffic lights, known as "advanced stop lines".
 
Police can already impose a £30 fixed penalty for driving in cycle lanes but only three were issued in London in the year to the end of June. A senior traffic policeman told The Times that it was very low on the list of priorities for officers and that they rarely even bothered to issue a verbal warning. Transport for London is proposing that the offences be decriminalised to allow civilian staff to monitor CCTV cameras and issue £120 penalties by post.
 
Nick Lester, director of transport at London Councils, said "This will bring enforcement to an area where there isn't any enforcement at the moment. Keeping drivers out of cycle lanes will encourage more people to cycle because there will be a greater perception that it is safe to do so."
 
And that just about sums it up, doesn't it? The cycle lanes are under-used, because cyclists aren't stupid and know they're dangerous. They're dangerous because they are too narrow and too close to the other traffic. If I was a cyclist I certainly wouldn't want to use them.
 
But by some warped cloud-cuckoo-land tree-hugging logic Nick Lester thinks he can magically cause thousands of jolly cyclists to appear out of the brickwork and flood London's cycle lanes. And this will give him the opportunity he so craves, to "bring enforcement to an area where there isn't any enforcement at the moment".
 
Oh, Nick, out of your own mouth will I judge you. You're just a bully, looking for an opportunity to pick on someone.

 

 
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